I'm Still Here

Hey guys (and gals)! I just thought I'd check in and let you know that I'm still around. I've been leading a very busy life these days. Here's a quick run down of what's going on in my life right now...

1) I'm still working on getting back orders caught up with my cookbooks now that the books are in. I have books everywhere right now and not enough hours in the day to get it all done quickly, but I'm doing what I can.

2) I'm still working my 2nd full time job at the hospital. In fact, I'm hoping to start training to work in the O.R. tomorrow and take over for the lady that's leaving at the end of the month. I don't know if it's going to happen yet, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed because I'd really like to work in the O.R. (I'll give you an update on that if it happens).

3) Rick is moving out during the first two weeks of April. I told him back in January that I'd like to move on. After a little over 3 years together, I made the decision that I want to make some changes in my life and he doesn't really fit into those changes. We've been more like roommates for the past 2 years anyway. For one, I want to get healthy and I can't hang with him because he's extremely unhealthy. We aren't really compatible anyway. Sure, we laugh and have a good time quite a bit, but when it comes to the big picture, we see things differently. On his days off he wants to lay around and watch tv while I want to go out and do stuff; but the biggest deal breaker is I want kids and he doesn't. I just don't see any reason in wasting anymore time. I'm not getting any younger and I certainly don't have the power to make time stand still. Also, another thing is I'd like to live on my own for awhile. I've never really lived out on my own (I was with my ex husband for 10 years and then I met Rick)... I want to see what it's like to have my own space. I figure I'll give it a year and see where things go. The way my life has been changing so rapidly, just about anything can happen in a year. LOL! I'm waiting to hear from the management here at my apartment complex to move from my 2 bedroom apartment into a 1 bedroom apartment. They aren't positive, but they said they could have one available maybe around mid May. I thought about just staying here for another year, but I can save some money by downsizing, and I'd like a fresh start in a new place.

4) I have a really good friend at work who wants to lose weight. We've already decided that we're going to get back on track April 1st (I haven't been doing so well, but luckily I haven't gained any weight back due to all of the walking I do at work each night). They're building a really nice YMCA on the hospital campus that opens in August and we've already decided to join along with a few other co-workers. I think it will be fun to meet up before work or on our days off and work out together. We aren't going to wait until the YMCA opens to start working out though. We've already made plans to start walking on our days off and our goal is to do a couple of 10k's by this summer. I can't wait. I really miss participating in 10k's like I use to before I gained my weight back.

5) I'm taking a medical terminology class at the hospital. It will take me awhile to get through it because I don't have a lot of extra time to dedicate to it (it's a self paced class on the hospital computers) but I'll get it done eventually. Once I finish it, it should open some doors for a better job at the hospital if I choose to do so.

As you can see, I'm making a lot of changes right now, but I feel like they're changes for the better. I feel like I'm finally taking control over my life and I feel really positive and excited about everything. I just hope everything works out the way I have it all played out in my head. LOL! We all know things don't always go as planned, but I have to at least give it a try. :)

Well I'm heading for bed so I can get up early to work on getting out some cookbook orders tomorrow before I head to the hospital. I'm hoping once I'm back on track come April 1st that I'll be able to dedicate a little more time to this blog. I have some products I need to review (one of them is a CD for exercising). Talk to you soon!

Happy New Year!

I was told I need to get over here and blog before people forget about me, so here I am. :) I think about blogging everyday, but I'm not able to do it from work (which is where I usually am). Even when I have a day off (like today), I still have to work here at the computer, so there really is no such thing as a day off for me anymore. It's all good though. I'm slowly adjusting to my job at the hospital. Not that the job itself has really changed, but I think I have. I had a bit of a melt down at work one night a couple of weeks ago and was ready to just walk out. Honestly, the only thing keeping me there is the insurance and the hopes of moving on to bigger and better things in the near future.

Anyway, since my melt down (or as most would call it, my "boo hoo sob session") I don't stress out over anything at work anymore. It's just not worth it to me. I think my problem before was that I just cared too much about it, I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure EVERYTHING in the hospital got done, and I let people's attitudes wear off on me. I'll be honest, I've never worked at a place with so many attitudes and lack of caring before. A lot of the people just sit around and bitch about having to work (well duh, aren't we there to actually work?) and the gossiping is unlike anything I've experienced before.

After my little melt down, I just made the conscious decision to be as happy as I can be, try to avoid the negative people, and just go to work, do my job and come home (which is all I ever really wanted to begin with, but I allowed myself to get wrapped up in all of it). I've also given myself permission to slow down. I was going at warp speed trying to get as much cleaned as possible to try and keep up with the demand, I was skipping breaks because I felt like I didn't have time to take them, and I was getting burned out. Now, I just go at a steady pace. I still don't always get to take both of my 15 minute breaks each night, but I'm working on it. I'm just one person, and I do the best that I can do. My new view on everything has really helped me get through it.

Now onto what you'd probably rather hear about... my weight loss. The good news is, I did end 2007 lighter than I started it (30 pounds to be exact). Even through all of my changes and stress during the last 3-4 months of the year, I managed to not gain everything back (though I did lose and gain the same 8 pounds over and over). Looking at my weigh in sheet (I weighed daily except for the few weeks when my scale was broken), I pretty much floated between the same 5 numbers (only hitting the higher end of those 5 numbers towards the end of the year when I was eating all sorts of junk and not really tracking my food intake).

I started my weight loss journey over on January 1st (like most people) and I'm doing really well so far. I decided not to make any new year's resolutions this year. I never stick to them anyway, so why set myself up for disappointment? I'd rather just focus on doing my best. It's all I have. I really feel like this is going to be another year of changes for me. I seem to have so much going on, and nothing is really stable in my life anymore. My goal is to just try and adjust to whatever comes along. I'm not a person who accepts change easily, so it's all a learning process just like weight loss.

Well, that's pretty much it for now. I need to get some laundry done and get cookbook orders filled, then head to the grocery store later so I have food for the week. I can't promise when I'll have a chance to come back and blog again, but I'll try my best to make it sometime soon.

PS, for anyone who started a gym membership recently, or those of you who already had one... this article is pretty interesting... 10 Things Your Gym Won't Tell You.

TTYL and Happy New Year, New You!!!

It's Been Awhile

Hello everyone! It's been awhile since my last post, but I can honestly say I've been busy. I wanted to stop in and get you up to date on my life these days.

I feel like all I do is work these days. My new job isn't enjoyable, but the health insurance keeps me going everyday (thankfully I had it when I landed in the ER the week after my birthday because the bill was over $1700 - I only had to pay $75). I've wanted to quit this job a few times already. It's not that the job is really hard (it's physical, but just about anyone could do it); the problem seems to be the lack of training and communication in the place, so naturally that just adds more stress. We're moving to a new hospital on December 9th, and I can understand that everyone is stressed with things to do to make that move, but I just really expected more. Most of what I know about my job has come from a small amount of training and from me asking LOTS of questions and not being afraid to speak up when I don't know how to do something. Luckily, the people who I work with in my department are nice and answer any questions I have (heck, most of them haven't been there much longer than I have).

I feel like I need a more mentally stimulating job. Some nights I just feel like a robot going from room to room cleaning. I have to do this for 6 months before I can try to move to a different position in the hospital. I'm just trying to get through it and put my time in so I can do just that. I've been looking into taking a medical terminology class lately. If I can find a class online and get through it, it should open some doors for me. I feel like I have skills that aren't being put to good use anymore. I'm not really saying I feel like I'm too good to scrub a toilet or anything, I just feel like I can achieve much higher things.

I got to talking to a woman last night while I was cleaning some windows and she was waiting on her ride. I asked her what she does in the hospital. She said she works as a processor in the lab, so I asked her if she had to go to school for that and she said no. Then I asked her if they were hiring (LOL). She said they are, but since she was hired 3 years ago, now you have to also be a Phlebotomist to do what she does (this way if they need extra help, you're trained to go do it). Maybe I'll take a look into that. All I know is... I can't keep doing what I'm doing. Not only is it killing my back and my ankles, but I feel like the job is giving me an attitude most days. I'm just hoping once we move to the new hospital, things will improve some. I'm tired all of the time (between working the new full time job and trying to keep up my business), and now I'm thinking about adding school on top of it all. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to try. Hopefully the stress won't kill me. Although... they say what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger... I ought to be a really strong person when this is all over. LOL!

Well, that's pretty much what I've been up to. I can't guarantee when I'll have time to get back here and post another blog, but I'll try to get back here soon. I miss all of you and think of you often!

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well, it's finally here... yet another birthday. LOL! My gift to myself was stepping on the scale this morning and seeing a loss. All the walking at the hospital is paying off (it's official, I walk at least 5.5 miles every night - my feet and back are proof of it). If it weren't for Advil and Tiger Balm, I wouldn't be able to walk into that place everyday, or even get out of bed for that matter.

They brought in a birthday cake last night for me and another guy I work with (his birthday is today too). I stayed at the meeting long enough for everyone to sing Happy Birthday, then I politely excused myself and got to work while the rest of them ate cake. It didn't bother me. I've never been a big fan of cake anyway. I'd rather have ice cream. LOL!

I'm not sure what the plans are for today yet. I do know that I'll be at the new hospital sometime between 5-9 tonight taking a tour with my family (it's employee family night - a once in a lifetime chance for our families to see parts of the new hospital that they'll never get to see once it opens in December). It ought to be fun. :)

Let Me Fall - Josh Groban

Let me fall
Let me climb
There's a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won't heed your warnings
I won't hear

Let me fall
If I fall
There's no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall

This is the song I've had stuck in my head since I woke up this morning. It's actually my favorite Josh Groban song. If you've never heard it, here you go...



Oh, update on the miles walked at work... last night was a really slow night (which means less walking) and my pedometer said I walked 5.5 miles. I'm going to wear it again tonight and see if it's about the same or not.

I'm Still Around

Can you believe October is almost over already? The time just seems to fly by these days. I'm sure many of you feel the same.

I know I've been quiet, but I'm trying to getting everything I need to get done on my two days off from my new job. Yesterday I ran errands and got things done outside the house, and so far today I've been to Sam's Club (to stock up on shipping supplies), Walmart (to get groceries for the week), then I came home, updated the progress chart for the members on my support board, washed the bedding, did 3 loads of regular laundry, cooked 3 dishes (which will hopefully last the entire week), washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, and now I'm getting ready to type up the invoices and fill this weeks cookbook orders. There are soooo many other things I need to get done, but I don't see it happening today. Maybe next weekend. I just seem to get further and further behind on everything. My to-do list just keeps on growing. I'm trying not to stress too much though. It will probably get worse before it gets better, so I'm just taking things one day at a time. :)

Eating wise, I have my good days and my not so good days, but I'm still hanging in there. I have to eat dinner at work just 2 hours after I get there. I'm not use to eating at 5 PM and don't eat a lot since I'm not hungry; so by the time I get back home at midnight, I'm usually hungry. I really need to stop eating so late though. I do nothing but walk for 8 hours at work (I'm going to try and take my pedometer one day this week so I can see just how far it is that I really walk). One person was trying to tell me that someone else wore a pedometer once and they figured up that they walked 14 miles per day, but I find that hard to believe. If I had to guess, I'd say it's probably more like 4-5 miles total. If I can get a handle on my late night eating, no doubt I'd lose more weight. Maybe I'll make up some sugar free Jello and see if that gets me through. If not, I'll have to think of something else.

I was going to write about a really good juice I've been drinking lately, but I think I'll save that for next time (more than likely next weekend unless I find the time to write it up sometime this week). I've still got a lot to get done tonight and I want to be sure that I compile all of the facts before I start telling you about it. It's good stuff, so be sure to stop back here and read about it soon. :) TTYL!

I'll Be Back

Sorry guys, I haven't forgotten about you. I'm just trying to adjust to this new job and get through all of the orientation and masses of information they're throwing at me. I start my regular schedule next week (this week I went in at all sorts of different hours), so I should find some sort of whatever I can call "normal" sometime soon. I'm really behind on so many things right now. Working 2 full time jobs is a little harder than I even imagined it to be, but I'll get through. I have to.... the health insurance makes it worth it. LOL! I'm sure things will get easier as time goes on. The sad thing is, the new hospital opens on December 9th, and everything might get scrambled up again (plus I have to go through 2 orientations AGAIN... one for the new hospital and one for my department). I go out to the new hospital tomorrow during my shift for a tour of the O.R. (where I think I'd like to work), but chances are I won't get to work there since I'm on the bottom of the totem pole. I'll end up with one of the crappy jobs nobody else wants. I'll deal with it. I only have to be there 6 months before I can transfer into another department, so if it's bad and I can stick it out, that's what I'll do. :) TTYL!