Sunday, January 6, 2008

Happy New Year!

I was told I need to get over here and blog before people forget about me, so here I am. :) I think about blogging everyday, but I'm not able to do it from work (which is where I usually am). Even when I have a day off (like today), I still have to work here at the computer, so there really is no such thing as a day off for me anymore. It's all good though. I'm slowly adjusting to my job at the hospital. Not that the job itself has really changed, but I think I have. I had a bit of a melt down at work one night a couple of weeks ago and was ready to just walk out. Honestly, the only thing keeping me there is the insurance and the hopes of moving on to bigger and better things in the near future.

Anyway, since my melt down (or as most would call it, my "boo hoo sob session") I don't stress out over anything at work anymore. It's just not worth it to me. I think my problem before was that I just cared too much about it, I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure EVERYTHING in the hospital got done, and I let people's attitudes wear off on me. I'll be honest, I've never worked at a place with so many attitudes and lack of caring before. A lot of the people just sit around and bitch about having to work (well duh, aren't we there to actually work?) and the gossiping is unlike anything I've experienced before.

After my little melt down, I just made the conscious decision to be as happy as I can be, try to avoid the negative people, and just go to work, do my job and come home (which is all I ever really wanted to begin with, but I allowed myself to get wrapped up in all of it). I've also given myself permission to slow down. I was going at warp speed trying to get as much cleaned as possible to try and keep up with the demand, I was skipping breaks because I felt like I didn't have time to take them, and I was getting burned out. Now, I just go at a steady pace. I still don't always get to take both of my 15 minute breaks each night, but I'm working on it. I'm just one person, and I do the best that I can do. My new view on everything has really helped me get through it.

Now onto what you'd probably rather hear about... my weight loss. The good news is, I did end 2007 lighter than I started it (30 pounds to be exact). Even through all of my changes and stress during the last 3-4 months of the year, I managed to not gain everything back (though I did lose and gain the same 8 pounds over and over). Looking at my weigh in sheet (I weighed daily except for the few weeks when my scale was broken), I pretty much floated between the same 5 numbers (only hitting the higher end of those 5 numbers towards the end of the year when I was eating all sorts of junk and not really tracking my food intake).

I started my weight loss journey over on January 1st (like most people) and I'm doing really well so far. I decided not to make any new year's resolutions this year. I never stick to them anyway, so why set myself up for disappointment? I'd rather just focus on doing my best. It's all I have. I really feel like this is going to be another year of changes for me. I seem to have so much going on, and nothing is really stable in my life anymore. My goal is to just try and adjust to whatever comes along. I'm not a person who accepts change easily, so it's all a learning process just like weight loss.

Well, that's pretty much it for now. I need to get some laundry done and get cookbook orders filled, then head to the grocery store later so I have food for the week. I can't promise when I'll have a chance to come back and blog again, but I'll try my best to make it sometime soon.

PS, for anyone who started a gym membership recently, or those of you who already had one... this article is pretty interesting... 10 Things Your Gym Won't Tell You.

TTYL and Happy New Year, New You!!!